Things you must discuss with your partner before becoming parents

Minal Upadhyay — Wed, 13 Mar 2024 13:39:55 +0000

Shadi hui nahi ke baccho ki demand shuru… All Indian couples would have gone through this phase once in their lives. The majority of Indian couples plan their babies under such pressure without realizing that parenting is a lot more than simply giving birth.

It’s important to find a balance between being parents and being yourself. Navigating this new phase of life is not going to be easy, asking pertinent questions will help to plan life choices in a better way. Here are a few questions to discuss:

1. Will our health and lifestyle allow you to be parents?

Certain things can’t be ignored in their desire to be parents such as health and lifestyle. If you have any illness that can be passed on to the child, you need to take a long hard look at your decision to be a parent. You need to consider the challenges of carrying the baby to term and raising it while dealing with your health issues.

2. How are we looking at our relationship after having kids?

It’s obvious that first-time parents are going to be so busy that they forget they are also partners. Addressing how you will take out time for each is important. Will there be a few monthly date nights where partners will stay at home and have dinner together after the baby goes to sleep, or will there be another activity? Make sure you two figure out a way to handle these kinds of settings.

3. How will we move forward with our careers and equally contribute being with the kid? Having kids isn’t just a small change from being a partner to a parent its an inevitably change each of your career trajectories too. Parents will have to account for a new member and make some sacrifices or take up additional work, depending on the situation at home. So, it’s important to discuss how work and family responsibilities with each other would help in re-distributed and balanced in the future.

4. What would be the religious upbringing child?

As per indian society, the child is always made to take up his father’s name along with the religion. But it may be an easy choice if both partners are from the same religious community, it is difficult if partners practise different religions. Religion is a huge deal in India and it is essential to factor this in before you enter parenthood. What religion will our child follow? Will we teach the child about all religious practices and allow them to choose their religion when they grow up? These are all questions you need to address before you enter parenthood.

5. How involved will your families be?

Living in indian society comes with sharing homes with in-laws and parents. It’s pretty common for grandparents to be actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives. It also helps the new parents that they can lean on their families for support with childcare. Where on the other hand, there are certain situations in which parents can’t live their their children, and this becomes an important topic to be discussed at the level of the family’s involvement.

Parenting is a struggle but fun for the parents, especially for the new parents-to-be. But the struggle is even harder when it comes to the new parents, those sleepless nights, drowsy mornings, and the child’s nature towards the new world can change the whole of experience for the parents. This is where asking your partner the questions above and having thorough discussions can make the parenting process a little less confusing and exhausting.

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Unveiling the Shadows: The Negative Impact of Patriarchal Norms in Indian Society

Minal Upadhyay — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 12:17:18 +0000

India, a land of diverse cultures and traditions, has grappled with deeply entrenched patriarchal norms that continue to shape societal structures. While progress has been made in various spheres, the negative impact of patriarchy persists, influencing relationships, opportunities, and overall social dynamics. This article explores the adverse effects of patriarchal Indian society and sheds light on the need for transformative change.

Gender Inequality in Education: Patriarchal norms often result in gender-based disparities in education. Despite efforts to promote education for all, traditional beliefs sometimes limit opportunities for girls, leading to lower enrollment rates and restricted access to higher education.
Unequal Employment Opportunities: The patriarchal framework perpetuates gender-based discrimination in the workplace. Women frequently encounter wage gaps, limited career advancement opportunities, and occupational segregation, reinforcing a system that marginalizes their professional growth.
Violence Against Women: One of the most alarming consequences of patriarchy is the prevalence of violence against women. Domestic violence, sexual assault, and dowry-related incidents continue to plague Indian society, creating an environment where women often live in fear and silence.
Restricted Reproductive Rights: Patriarchal norms contribute to controlling women’s reproductive rights, manifesting in limited access to contraception, family planning, and safe abortions. This constraint on autonomy affects not only individual women but also the overall health of communities.
Social Stigma Surrounding Divorce: The stigma attached to divorce in patriarchal societies can trap individuals in toxic relationships. Women, in particular, may endure unhappy marriages due to societal pressure, leading to mental health issues and hindering personal growth.
Inheritance and Property Rights: Deep-rooted patriarchal norms often deny women their rightful share in inheritance and property. This economic disenfranchisement perpetuates dependence on male family members and inhibits financial independence.
Objectification and Media Influence: Patriarchal ideals contribute to the objectification of women in media, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and unrealistic beauty standards. This not only impacts women’s self-esteem but also fosters a culture that prioritizes appearance over abilities.
Underrepresentation in Politics and Leadership: The patriarchal structure limits women’s representation in political and leadership roles. Despite constitutional provisions, a significant gender gap persists in decision-making bodies, hindering diverse perspectives and inclusive governance.
Mental Health Challenges: Constant societal pressure to conform to patriarchal expectations can lead to mental health challenges, such as anxiety and depression. The suppression of individual aspirations and identities contributes to a collective mental health burden.
Impact on Future Generations: The perpetuation of patriarchal norms creates a cycle that affects future generations. Children raised in such environments may internalize gender biases, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and hindering the progress towards a more equitable society.

Conclusion: While India is making strides towards gender equality, the negative impact of patriarchal norms remains a significant challenge. Acknowledging these issues is the first step towards fostering a society that values equality, justice, and the empowerment of all its members. It is crucial for individuals, communities, and policymakers to work collectively to dismantle patriarchal structures and create a more inclusive and progressive India.