Shadi hui nahi ke baccho ki demand shuru… All Indian couples would have gone through this phase once in their lives. The majority of Indian couples plan their babies under such pressure without realizing that parenting is a lot more than simply giving birth.
It’s important to find a balance between being parents and being yourself. Navigating this new phase of life is not going to be easy, asking pertinent questions will help to plan life choices in a better way. Here are a few questions to discuss:
1. Will our health and lifestyle allow you to be parents?
Certain things can’t be ignored in their desire to be parents such as health and lifestyle. If you have any illness that can be passed on to the child, you need to take a long hard look at your decision to be a parent. You need to consider the challenges of carrying the baby to term and raising it while dealing with your health issues.
2. How are we looking at our relationship after having kids?
It’s obvious that first-time parents are going to be so busy that they forget they are also partners. Addressing how you will take out time for each is important. Will there be a few monthly date nights where partners will stay at home and have dinner together after the baby goes to sleep, or will there be another activity? Make sure you two figure out a way to handle these kinds of settings.
3. How will we move forward with our careers and equally contribute being with the kid? Having kids isn’t just a small change from being a partner to a parent its an inevitably change each of your career trajectories too. Parents will have to account for a new member and make some sacrifices or take up additional work, depending on the situation at home. So, it’s important to discuss how work and family responsibilities with each other would help in re-distributed and balanced in the future.
4. What would be the religious upbringing child?
As per indian society, the child is always made to take up his father’s name along with the religion. But it may be an easy choice if both partners are from the same religious community, it is difficult if partners practise different religions. Religion is a huge deal in India and it is essential to factor this in before you enter parenthood. What religion will our child follow? Will we teach the child about all religious practices and allow them to choose their religion when they grow up? These are all questions you need to address before you enter parenthood.
5. How involved will your families be?
Living in indian society comes with sharing homes with in-laws and parents. It’s pretty common for grandparents to be actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives. It also helps the new parents that they can lean on their families for support with childcare. Where on the other hand, there are certain situations in which parents can’t live their their children, and this becomes an important topic to be discussed at the level of the family’s involvement.
Parenting is a struggle but fun for the parents, especially for the new parents-to-be. But the struggle is even harder when it comes to the new parents, those sleepless nights, drowsy mornings, and the child’s nature towards the new world can change the whole of experience for the parents. This is where asking your partner the questions above and having thorough discussions can make the parenting process a little less confusing and exhausting.
